Man Accidentally Cuts Neighbor’s Penis With Chainsaw While Cutting Firewood

As further proof that you should never mix alcohol and power tools, a man is facing possible criminal charges in Romania for allegedly chopping off his friend’s penis while cutting firewood. The pair were neighbors and having beers while working with the chainsaw in the backyard when things turned bloody. Read on below.
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Chainsaw Accident. The reported accident took place when two neighbors were cutting firewood with a chainsaw in their backyards. Others were watching the incident, including the wife and son of the victim.

Drinks Before Disaster. The two neighbors were reportedly having drinks together in the village of Vanatory in Romania before heading home for the wood-chopping chore.

Don’t Try This at Home Kids. According to reports, the pair were feeling the effects of the drinks and had started joking around.

Backyard Jokes. The man accused, stated he was not trying to harm his friend, but was merely feeling jovial as he was trying to joke around with him.

Hold My Beer. In a joke that went horribly wrong, the accused friend lunged at his neighbor, chainsaw in hand. He was reportedly joking with the man about chopping his knees with the chainsaw.

Firewood. According to the victim’s wife who witnessed the incident, the neighbor had been willingly invited over to help with the chore of cutting firewood. She noted the two were friends and neighbors.

Wrong Kind of Wood, Buddy. When the accused man lunged for his friend out of a prankster move, he missed and cut his friend right in the groin.

Oops. The neighbor has admitted to authorities that he was the man involved, and has stressed it was merely an accident. “Everything happened in play, it was a joke. I didn’t want to cut him, I was helping him to cut wood and this is what happened.” That was a statement released by the accused.

Chainsaw Accident. The victim was rushed to Parhon Hospital nearby after the gruesome accident.

Surgery to Repair the Damage. Surgeons worked for hours in an effort to repair the damage done by the friendly neighbor. No one has released the extent of the damage or whether they were able to fully repair the victim’s genitals.

Uh Oh. In the after math of the incident, the accused neighbor has issued his apologies and his fear for possible consequences of his actions. He was quoted as saying, “I hope I don’t go to prison.”

Ruined Sex Life. Without knowing the extent of the damage, it is impossible to say whether or not the victim will ever be able to resume a normal sex life with his wife who witnessed the incident.

Watch Out for the Mrs. I think I’d be more concerned with the recoil from the victim’s Mrs. than any jail time, but that’s just me. She was reported as saying, “We were cutting wood and I called our neighbor to help. Suddenly I saw my husband covered in blood.” She has noted she plans to press charges against the neighbor for the incident.

Stay Sober My Friends. It goes to show, mixing beer and power tools is never a good idea. You may just end up chopping the wrong wood. Ouch.