Ever wondered, just on a hypothetical basis, how to get rid of a dead body? If you watch anything on ID Discovery or a show like Forensic Files, you know that getting a rid of a body isn’t easy. So what’s the best way to do it? The insider we’ve referred to has detailed knowledge of forensic pathology, and was willing to share a few pieces of information with us. The remaining suggestions came from an online community of around 48,000 true crime aficionados.
Any thoughts on what you would do, hypothetically, if you needed to get rid of a dead body, and fast? Sound off in the comments section!
Feed it to pigs. This was the most popular response. “Operate a hog farm. Hogs will eat anything,” said Seth (and Bridget agreed). Danielle added “pigs or swampland. Pigs will eat f*cking anything and there’s so much bacteria and other various living organisms in a swamp that a body won’t be a problem for too long.” This was further supported by Jerel, who said “pigs work well, also, if you way the body down well enough and throw it in a pond with a lot of catfish, they should do a better job than the pigs.”
Pigs aren’t a fool-proof solution. Mateo pointed out that “the big disadvantage of disposing of a body via pigs, is that you need to become a pig farmer in anticipation of murdering someone, which means you have the drive and the means to radically shift your own life in order to end someone elses. Or you try and become a pig farmer after you’ve killed someone, which is dramatic change in behavior for anyone investigating.”
Alligators. “So, actually have a degree in Criminal Justice and took a bunch of courses on forensic science and Serial murder while getting it. After all of that, my definitive choice is definitely Alligators. Chop it up into small hunks, go camping at a lake I know is full of gators, get them worked up and throw it to em. Whatever is too big to be eaten at once, weigh it down and toss it into the deep water, they’ll finish it up. But don’t forget to remove all teeth, hair, fingers and toes,” said Bobby, a/k/a Crunch.
A casket on top of a body. “The coolest thing I’ve heard happened around me is a guy killed his wife right around a funeral and the night before the funeral he went out and dug even deeper than the grave and hurried his wife then the next day the funeral happened and they hurried a casket over a dead body, he would have gotten away with it but he bragged to a friend about it and his friend ratted him out,” said old Blaine.
Chopped up and put in cement. “Chopping the body into very small pieces. Placing those pieces in separate zip lock bags. Filling those bags with cement. Mailing each piece across the globe and asking an accomplice to toss their piece into the ocean. This is the plan I came up with in sixth grade to stop Jason Vorhees,” said another Jason (not Vorhees).
Chopped up and put i a dumpster. “Dispose of it in a large grocery store’s dumpster. With all of the rotting meat, seafood and produce the smell would be well covered and it gets disposed of daily. Blood wouldn’t be suspicious with the amount we have to dispose of in the meat department. Unlike with resident garbage it is much harder to track down if for some reason you were. They are very poorly monitored and next to impossible to track down where the garbage is going to end up,” said Stephanie.
Acid bath. “Acid bath, burn what’s left, burn the ashes again,” said Robert. Of course, you’d have to have access to the right kind of acid, which can be kind of tricky.
Weighed down. Tim suggests you take the body and make sure it’s “weighted down in deep water, wrapped in chicken wire so no bits float away but the marine life can eat it”
Smelting steel. Allison suggested a smelting steel factory. Another commenter pointed out that the body would explode.
Acid. “Find a freshly dug grave, dig it out. Dig a couple feet further. Spray down the murdered in acid. Place in the deeper grave with some dirt on top. Them put back the casket that was there. Presto, dead body covered with another dead body and all evidence linking back to be destroyed by acid,” suggests Anna. April adds “from studying genetics i can say acid is the number 1 way to get rid of dna and forensic evidence. However the logic of equipment, transport and dumping i wouldn’t know what to do.”
Dismemberment. “Cut off hands, feet, and knock in teeth first. Then dump body using method of your choice, dump hands and feet separatley. This makes the forensics more difficult and they won’t quickly identify the body,” wrote John.
Feed it to a dinosaur. Sean suggests that you “feed it to a dinosaur.” He also suggests that you “LAUNCH IT INTO THE F*CKIN’ SUN!” “Or a black hole.”
A very hot fire. “Get a fire hot enough like commercial cremation hot i believe 3600 degress faranheit then spread the ash and most importantly the teeth. Teeth will most likely remain so pulverize them and again spread them out in different areas. Multpile lakes or ponds if possible,” suggests Michael.
Park bench. Sharon suggests that you “sit it on a park bench.” Perhaps there is something to be said for hiding in plain sight.
Compost. “Bury the torso under another grave ( human or dog). Take the hands feet and head, take off the skin and compost it. Break down the bone with mortar and pestal then compost that too,” said Travis.